Snappin Back

So here I sit, 2 months after having Isaac, and I'm still wearing my maternity pants and it ain't because I love 'em. The old bod is just not snappin back like it used to. I guess that's what 5 pregnancies will do to you not to mention that I'm a wee bit older than I was with my first! I've actually lost all of the weight plus a pound or two but my muscle and bone structure still needs to find its way back home. I hope it does soon because I'm getting really tired of the same old pants .

As for working out, I just can't seem to get in the groove lately. It really is because I'm too tired from being up all night nursing my little nursling( love that baby) and I know from previous experiences that if I push myself and am not patient I will crash and burn. So now I am focusing on enjoying the moment and not stressing too much that I will have to don a swimsuit in say 2 months and take the kiddos to the pool. Scary. You'll be o.k. repeat, you'll be o.k.

Capturing the memories.

Recently, like yesterday, I bit the bullet and bought a new camera. I have been ogling other people's cameras and their beautiful pictures for say, 3 years now, and I think I'm ready to commit. Before I commit to something so expensive I have to sit and let it ruminate for awhile because I've purchased big $ items ie: my bread machine, sewing machine, wheat grass juicer etc... and there they sit unused. Oh, I used them alright, for about a week until I got frustrated and put them away where they sit now, all dusty and forlorn, taunting me. This time will be different! And I mean it! I am always seeing things and thinking, "that would be a great picture" and not to mention I would love to capture the memories of my kiddos, their little hands, toes, what they look like when they nurse, their mad face, you know, all of those little things that you have a really hard time bringing to mind when they are not right in front of you.

So I purchased a Nikon D40 with 2 lenses both of which I have no idea what I'm going to do with, but I'll learn. It seems like a really great beginners camera, not too easy, not too complicated. It has many great auto functions but I really hope I can challenge myself to stay in manual mode most of the time (I really have no idea what I'm talking about but it sounds good). I have absolutely no time to take a class but I have a friend who is a fantastic self taught photographer and she said she would help me out. This isn't my first digital camera, my last was a Canon power shot, I think, and I really don't like it. Fingers crossed on this one. Hopefully soon enough you'll be seeing beautiful magazine-like photos, all blurry around the edges and crisp in the middle (something to do with aperture, see I have a long way to go) in my posts.

Trust

For me as a mom trust is a hard thing. I especially have a hard time trusting other people with my children. I look at other mommies and they seem to have no problem sending their kids off, willy nilly with other parents, in their cars, at their homes. Do they worry about the same things I do, what will they watch on tv, will they see a movie that we wouldn't approve of, will they be on the internet, will they see people treating each other meanly in the home? I know this stems from my experiences as a child, many not good at all, and I want to protect my kids from all of those terrible things I was exposed to.

We spend so much time protecting their innocence. We guard their little hearts as best we can because we take very seriously the job/gift of parenting that God has given us. We want to raise His children to the best of our abilities and guide them the way He wants them to go. We pray the St. Michael prayer over them every night and God knows what they will be exposed to, but we still have to be vigilant in protecting our children and pray that they will bring to us the times their innocence has been bruised and we will help them through it.

I'm tired

This sweet baby, Isaac, is our newest addition. He's 10 wks old today. I love him so much and could look at his sweet face all day. Apparently he loves me a lot too and could look at my tired face all day, and night too. I'm tired! Tired I tell ya! We do many things pretty well as parents, don't ask me to name them because I'm too tired to, but getting our babies to sleep at night is not one of them. It seems like at about a year to a year and a half we seem to get it figured out but by then I'm a total wreck, like check me into the nut house, sick to the core, crazed mess! We have all heard the saying, "if mama aint happy nobody is happy" and that is the TRUTH! So while I was busy being pregnant, managing the chaos of 5 kiddos not to mention a newly adopted son and his 3 cleft, ear tube surgeries I decided by golly when this baby came I would indeed get him to sleep through the night.

Here we are at 2 mnths and no sleepy through the nighty yet, aaarrgghhh!

O.k. here's my latest plan of attack for this conundrum as advised be the book Baby Wise; nurse, play, sleep, up to nurse again 2 hrs. after the beginning of the first feeding. I have never been a big fan of scheduling out a baby but man o man I need a little order here. A couple of things come into play, I hold him until he is drowsy then put him down not yet fully asleep so that he can learn the skill of self soothing. I will try to limit the use of the pacifier because he will become even more dependant on it for sleep. I will limit the use of the swing as seen in the picture below. I will keep a positive attitude and probably should cut out the coffee and chocolate (crying softly to self). Wish me luck. I'll update on the progress(see how positive I'm being) in a week.

Using his words

Yesterday was a very special day for me, our son said "mom" on purpose, to me, for the very first time. We have had Nate for a year as of February and have been trying so hard to encourage him to use his words. He has a few words, one being "ma ma," but has never used it in reference to me. His cleft lip and palate have hindered his verbal skills but he also really doesn't even try to speak. How nice it will be to hear him say "mom" instead of grunting or screaming at me when he needs something. Another milestone is that he actually chose me over my husband (his most favorite person in the world besides my dad) when he was hurt. He ran right past him and held his arms up to me. Wow, it's little things like that that make me smile and really help with bonding. I can't wait for more times like these with our little Nate.